Oh, Japonais! How you exemplify my new hatred of "trendy" spots. And really, all Japonais is is a spot where you throw money into the void and hope that "Hey, I can be cool, too!" Naturally, I'm middle class. Not like Olive Garden is high-class sort of middle-class, but trust when I say that Japonais is ridic.
I love sushi and trying new spots. During my downtown tour-du-jour, I decided to put Japonais on my list. And you'll want to put your name on Japonais' list. I still waited 45 minutes for my party's table after my reservation time, as the hostesses kept playing the "Oh, just five more minutes!" game. Because I really believe that. It's usually 5+5+5+5+5+5+5 minutes and by that point it's too late to go anywhere else in the hood. Besides, Japonaise is pretty inside. Low lighting makes you look hot and all that.
So we were welcome to wait in the lounge. Cool bar, crowded as all get out. So I decided to wait outside and look at Cabrini-Green in the distance. Oh, Cabrini.
The place is packed. But this led to many interesting observations about others.
I mean, the other diners just made our evening. Sitting like 6 inches away from me at the next table was a blond, Lincoln Park trixie and her sugar daddy. Now homegirl had about 5 martinis too many because she was pulling a Tara Reid all up in my face and going on and on about her best friend Becky or whatever as Mr. Sugar looked at her with this creepy lustful gaze.
Then my new best girlfriend's chopsticks were all sticking into her cleavage. I nearly died. When she realized what's up she yelled "OMG CHOPSTICKS IN MY B00BS AHAHAHA!" and he was laughing at her crazy self and finally decided to leave. Dude's lingo was hilarious.
Then he tried to say his wine was corked when they drank the whole bottle. Poor waitor.
Food? Meh. Nothing memorable. $250 gone. But the pretentiousness about you is hilarious. Not recommended for dinner, but for hilarity.
Go to Sushi Toro in Lincoln Park instead.
Pros: Hilarious Clientele. You'll love yourself afterward.
Cons: Prices. Crowd. Location (It's far! Don't walk there from the Brown Line!).