Captain Ankeny's Well

★★★★☆
  • 50 SW 3rd Ave

    Portland, OR 97204

    Map & Directions
  • 503-223-1375

About Captain Ankeny's Well

Food

Food
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The bad experience started as soon as I walked in the door. The doorman proceed to say something smug and hateful to me about my appearance. Cute right? I stroll up to the bar and order my overpriced beer and the pseudo-punk bartender lady gives me a look like she either thinks I'm the biggest idiot on the face of the planet, or she wants to rip my guts out, or both. Even cuter no? It's a good thing I ordered my crappy, overpriced beer because they won't let you use the restroom without doing so. I paid and left a tip on the bar which she was too cool to accept. I promptly took back my money and gave it to the appreciative street musicians who were performing right outside the door as I was leaving. Oh, and they wouldn't allow my friends to sit at a table and eat the doughnuts that they just bought from Voodoo even though they explained they were wanting to order beers as well. They wouldn't even let them sit at the outside tables which were completely vacant. Needless to say this bar is absolutely terrible in every single way possible. Not a good business model to have people. I guess that explains why the place was basically empty on a Friday night in Portland. Do not give this place your business.

1
★☆☆☆☆

The bad experience started as soon as I walked in the door. The doorman proceed to say something smug and hateful to me about my appearance. Cute right? I stroll up to the bar and order my overpriced beer and the pseudo-punk bartender lady gives me a look like she either thinks I'm the biggest idiot on the face of the planet, or she wants to rip my guts out, or both. Even cuter no? It's a good thing I ordered my crappy, overpriced beer because they won't let you use the restroom without doing so. I paid and left a tip on the bar which she was too cool to accept. I promptly took back my money and gave it to the appreciative street musicians who were performing right outside the door as I was leaving. Oh, and they wouldn't allow my friends to sit at a table and eat the doughnuts that they just bought from Voodoo even though they explained they were wanting to order beers as well. They wouldn't even let them sit at the outside tables which were completely vacant. Needless to say this bar is absolutely terrible in every single way possible. Not a good business model to have people. I guess that explains why the place was basically empty on a Friday night in Portland. Do not give this place your business.

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The bad experience started as soon as I walked in the door. The doorman proceed to say something smug and hateful to me about my appearance. Cute right? I stroll up to the bar and order my overpriced beer and the pseudo-punk bartender

3
★★★★★

The bad experience started as soon as I walked in the door. The doorman proceed to say something smug and hateful to me about my appearance. Cute right? I stroll up to the bar and order my overpriced beer and the pseudo-punk bartender

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well i'll tell you what... i took my out-of-towner nephew to this place, on a lark because kitty corner kell's was too packed. and we had a blast at ankeny's. i would have never gone on my own, but we really had a good time. if people-watching while swigging beer and eating good pizza is your thing, then ankeny's is for you. the staff is friendly, the dubious patrons invariably interesting. and its fairly low priced.

2
★★★★☆

well i'll tell you what... i took my out-of-towner nephew to this place, on a lark because kitty corner kell's was too packed. and we had a blast at ankeny's. i would have never gone on my own, but we really had a good time. if people-watching while swigging beer and eating good pizza is your thing, then ankeny's is for you. the staff is friendly, the dubious patrons invariably interesting. and its fairly low priced.

Pros: great guzzle

Cons: no gold plated toilets

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went for lunch, service was cr4p, pizza must have been several hours old. staffed by a bunch of thirty-year-old teenagers who seem to be more interested in playing with their own mobile phones and laptops and visiting with friends than doing their jobs......piss weak

0
★☆☆☆☆

went for lunch, service was cr4p, pizza must have been several hours old. staffed by a bunch of thirty-year-old teenagers who seem to be more interested in playing with their own mobile phones and laptops and visiting with friends than doing their jobs......piss weak

Pros: location

Cons: poor service, awful food

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This place is really more of a bar that's attached to other bars, but it's a great spot for a slice of pizza and a beer before seeing a show at any of the close by venues. Reasonable prices, nice selection of beers.

4
★★★★☆

This place is really more of a bar that's attached to other bars, but it's a great spot for a slice of pizza and a beer before seeing a show at any of the close by venues. Reasonable prices, nice selection of beers.

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and a beer here. They are open late, at least until 2:30 am. it's a corner bar with ton's of windows. Great for people watching and an awesome part of town to do it in. During spring and summer they have outside seating with waitstaff. It's a fun relaxing place. Can get pretty busy on weekend evenings.

5
★★★★★

and a beer here. They are open late, at least until 2:30 am. it's a corner bar with ton's of windows. Great for people watching and an awesome part of town to do it in. During spring and summer they have outside seating with waitstaff. It's a fun relaxing place. Can get pretty busy on weekend evenings.

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THIS IS THE BEST SPOT TO BE ON THE PARTY NIGHT OF THE YEAR!!!!
Last year THE STEPHENS rocked the joint until the wee hours of the morning! Beer, liquor, the absolute BEST pizza in town with the rockin' music of THE STEPHENS makes the upcoming new year celebration an event not to be missed. The Stephens will be performing all their originals along with some very fun covers from the likes of XTC, house of freaks, johnny cash, and many many more, maybe even a jeff buckley tune if the mood hits 'em. Come on out, you won't be disappointed. Oh yeah, try the "grown in oregon" or "shirley's choice" pizza, seriously, they're mouth wateringly TERRIFIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2
★★★★★

THIS IS THE BEST SPOT TO BE ON THE PARTY NIGHT OF THE YEAR!!!!
Last year THE STEPHENS rocked the joint until the wee hours of the morning! Beer, liquor, the absolute BEST pizza in town with the rockin' music of THE STEPHENS makes the upcoming new year celebration an event not to be missed. The Stephens will be performing all their originals along with some very fun covers from the likes of XTC, house of freaks, johnny cash, and many many more, maybe even a jeff buckley tune if the mood hits 'em. Come on out, you won't be disappointed. Oh yeah, try the "grown in oregon" or "shirley's choice" pizza, seriously, they're mouth wateringly TERRIFIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pros: pizza, beer, the stephens

 

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