Piggly Wiggly

★★★★☆
  • 255 McGregor Plz

    Platteville, WI 53818

    Map & Directions
  • 608-348-2345

About Piggly Wiggly

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Nice clean, friendly store with a great selection. Also the best membership card name EVER. Their card is the "Dick's Insider", I will never tire of hearing hot cashier girls say "Your Dick's Insider?" or "Dick's Insider please".

The level of confusion I experienced when first I chanced to pass through the check-out line is difficult to describe in mere words, perhaps interpretive dance might work? only time will tell... However I will attempt to convey the experience as best I can.

I was attempting to purchase a small piece of cheese and a candy bar. Now I have bought many things, so I unconsciously expect the retail transaction to a certain path. You take your swag up to the checkout person, he/she tells you a number, you give he/she that amount of money, and you leave with your things. There are occasional variations from the set form, sure, especially if the checkout person is new and/or a complete retard, but even these events are not really surprising, just irritating. So you can imagine my shock when after ringing up my meager purchases the (not unnattractive) young cashier looked at me and with perfect sincerity asked me sweetly "Dick's Insider?"

What?

My mind blanked. I must have stared at her for at least 3 seconds while my entire nervous system rebooted. I think I said something brilliant like "wha... buh...what??" assuming I had misheard her. She looked me right in the eye and without a trace of irony or sarcasm or ANYTHING that would imply that what she was saying was in ANY WAY out of the ordinary said "Your Dick's Insider??"

What?

My mind blanked. Again. I unconsciously looked down to check in case it was and I was ACCIDENTLY having congress with person or persons unknown in the checkout line. I was not. I had no frame of reference for this conversation. I was adrift in strange conversational seas without a map, or even a boat. I started to panic inside, my palms were beginning to sweat. *What* was she asking me? I was certain that I hadn't misheard her, but she couldn't be asking me what she seemed to be asking me could she?. I gathered my scattered mental resources and considered the problem for a second or two. I was still lost, I had to advantage I decided that honesty was the best policy for me at this time. I looked at her and said with what was probably an expression of utter helplessness "I have no response to that question" She stared at me for a heartbeat and sensing my confusion, was confused herself. I could see her wondering how I could be so stupid. So very slowly and with painfully clear diction she enunciated "Do... you... have... a... Dick's... Insider... Card".

Ah.

All of a sudden the entire previous conversation snapped into perfect focus. Words re-spelled themselves and made sudden sense. Paradigms shifted. Without missing a beat I said that no I did not have a card and inquired where I might get one. After this things went more smoothly, I exited the checkout lane, got a card application, filled it out, and got in line at customer service.

Then the giggles hit. Dick's Insider? What where they thinking? how can they NOT KNOW what that sounds like? When I got my turn at the customer service desk I was laughing while asking for my card. The (very nice) lady asked me what was so funny and I said "Oh just the name of the card" and she game the most confused look... I honestly believe that it had never occurred to her what "Dick's Insider" sounds like. The funniest thing is that once somebody at that store figures it out, it'll make the rounds in an afternoon and get phased out within a week but NOBODY at the store has copped to it yet.

In short, this is the best store ever. The cheese is wonderful and very reasonably priced!

4
★★★★☆

Nice clean, friendly store with a great selection. Also the best membership card name EVER. Their card is the "Dick's Insider", I will never tire of hearing hot cashier girls say "Your Dick's Insider?" or "Dick's Insider please".

The level of confusion I experienced when first I chanced to pass through the check-out line is difficult to describe in mere words, perhaps interpretive dance might work? only time will tell... However I will attempt to convey the experience as best I can.

I was attempting to purchase a small piece of cheese and a candy bar. Now I have bought many things, so I unconsciously expect the retail transaction to a certain path. You take your swag up to the checkout person, he/she tells you a number, you give he/she that amount of money, and you leave with your things. There are occasional variations from the set form, sure, especially if the checkout person is new and/or a complete retard, but even these events are not really surprising, just irritating. So you can imagine my shock when after ringing up my meager purchases the (not unnattractive) young cashier looked at me and with perfect sincerity asked me sweetly "Dick's Insider?"

What?

My mind blanked. I must have stared at her for at least 3 seconds while my entire nervous system rebooted. I think I said something brilliant like "wha... buh...what??" assuming I had misheard her. She looked me right in the eye and without a trace of irony or sarcasm or ANYTHING that would imply that what she was saying was in ANY WAY out of the ordinary said "Your Dick's Insider??"

What?

My mind blanked. Again. I unconsciously looked down to check in case it was and I was ACCIDENTLY having congress with person or persons unknown in the checkout line. I was not. I had no frame of reference for this conversation. I was adrift in strange conversational seas without a map, or even a boat. I started to panic inside, my palms were beginning to sweat. *What* was she asking me? I was certain that I hadn't misheard her, but she couldn't be asking me what she seemed to be asking me could she?. I gathered my scattered mental resources and considered the problem for a second or two. I was still lost, I had to advantage I decided that honesty was the best policy for me at this time. I looked at her and said with what was probably an expression of utter helplessness "I have no response to that question" She stared at me for a heartbeat and sensing my confusion, was confused herself. I could see her wondering how I could be so stupid. So very slowly and with painfully clear diction she enunciated "Do... you... have... a... Dick's... Insider... Card".

Ah.

All of a sudden the entire previous conversation snapped into perfect focus. Words re-spelled themselves and made sudden sense. Paradigms shifted. Without missing a beat I said that no I did not have a card and inquired where I might get one. After this things went more smoothly, I exited the checkout lane, got a card application, filled it out, and got in line at customer service.

Then the giggles hit. Dick's Insider? What where they thinking? how can they NOT KNOW what that sounds like? When I got my turn at the customer service desk I was laughing while asking for my card. The (very nice) lady asked me what was so funny and I said "Oh just the name of the card" and she game the most confused look... I honestly believe that it had never occurred to her what "Dick's Insider" sounds like. The funniest thing is that once somebody at that store figures it out, it'll make the rounds in an afternoon and get phased out within a week but NOBODY at the store has copped to it yet.

In short, this is the best store ever. The cheese is wonderful and very reasonably priced!

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