My husband and I have been married almost 8 years and have had a LOT of difficult life events thrown our way over the last 3 or 4 years. One day I decided that tomorrow I was going to go file for divorce this decision having been made after our second separation and multiple screaming matches. For whatever reason, later that day I started googling marriage counselors and came across Marriage Solutions in Tulsa. I decided it was worth a try, and my husband agreed to go.
We met with a guy named Daniel. We did three hour sessions once a week for a total of 18 hours (6 weeks), and I swear to you my husband and I are happier and closer now than we were before we even got married. Daniel helped us save our marriage. It was hard, and some of the exercises were awkward and uncomfortable for me (I am not a show your emotions kind of girl), but Daniel was very patient, kind, and guided us every step of the way. He didnt fix us, he taught us how to fix ourselves so we could use what we learned in counseling long after counseling was over that is what made our journey worth the investment.
Just a few of the problems Daniel helped us with:
Lack of communication, lack of bonding, deep-rooted trust issues, addictions, medical illnesses, depression, anxiety, control issues, overcoming past traumas, parenting disagreements, new family additions, and dealing with the new life roles we had found ourselves in - and seriously, those are just a few.
Answers to some fears you might have (because I had them too!):
Fear one of us wouldnt open up: Somehow or another, Daniel made both of us feel safe and comfortable enough to share our truest feelings.
Fear that a male counselor would just agree with my husband and I would feel alone: Daniel never took sides, and my husband and I always had an opportunity to share and respond.
Fear of the cost: Marriage Solutions is very upfront about all costs and offer multiple packages. They never charged my credit card for anything that wasnt previously discussed, and, as I stated earlier, we gained tools we can use forever.
Fear that counseling wont work: Daniel told us up front that if he didnt think he could help us, he would tell us. However, I truly believe if you just let go and use the tools they give you, you cannot fail.
What you need to do:
CALL THEM NOW!
Listen without judgement or interruption
Dont be on the defensive
Be 100% honest
Work the program